Peace

Back in August, the whole family went up to Big Bear with Sean's cross country team for a few days of running (well them, not us). It was there that I found it - the peace that I had been searching for. In the midst of motherhood and life, which is crazy, busy, and just non stop, I found the peace that I have wanted. I opened up the windows to the cabin in the cooler mountain air, Kate was taking an extremely long nap, Caleb was with Sean and his athletes and I just sat there feeling like I can breathe a bit, relax and just enjoy life for a few moments. I have been searching for that same peaceful feeling or even longing to head back up to Big Bear to experience those few moments again. And then the other day I was convicted. Convicted by God that the peace I am seeking for once is only truly found in Him. It isn't in the cooler mountain air. It isn't found by renting a cabin up in the mountains. 

Motherhood has been amazing. But the chaos of it, the constant touch of kids, the I can't seem to finish a single thought in my head, the beautiful mess but it is a mess has left me in my heart struggling to handle it because I am not accustom to chaos or unleft items or the inability to not always feel like I'm rushing, rushing to possibly be on time somewhere, rushing through the day to make sure everything gets done, just rushing, rushing, rushing...

I have a tendency to not seek God first in the things of life that I am wanting and it is the not materialistic things I am referencing. If you believe in God, do you find yourself doing the same? That is my human, sinful nature wanting to find things that aren't of God to replace what God does provide. I want to find my own answers to my own problems. Does it work? Maybe momentarily but my answers are never for the long term and never fully ever satisfying. 

Here is my solution to the peace that I desperately want to have in motherhood - the Bible, God's Word. It is everlasting. It is for the long term. I will be reviewing all the verses about peace and when I find myself as a mother longing for those few August mountain moments, I will recite a Bible verse to myself and to my heart. 

And I can't start with a better verse than Micah 5:5