5.29.2014

My momma's heart...

Last week was a rough one for me but a great one for Caleb. Funny how that works doesn't it? Caleb had a very active week. On Tuesday he rolled from his stomach to his back five times that day. Then on Thursday he rolled from his back to his stomach and has done that frequently since. As a result, he is moving all over his crib at night, which means waking up more thorough the night. The previous week I was getting 5,6,7 hour stretches of sleep from him. Once all this moving happened, he is back to every three hours. Combined with the more frequent wake-up times, the rest of the week everything else I had to do in life, housework, bible study, etc. I just always felt behind, always felt like I was playing catch up. By the end of the week, I was exhausted from feeling behind, waking up more frequently and just doing life. While my son was growing, being more active and reaching milestones, I was falling behind in life. 

It is hard to put those feelings aside, the negative feelings that I wasn't doing life very well. Some days Caleb doesn't really want to be put down, he doesn't want to spend as much time on his activity pad. Those are harder days when I just see my list of things to do piling up. Dinners lately has been sub-par. I commented to Sean the other day how I seem to get one solid meal on the table, solid meal balanced, a main course and some veggies. The rest of the meals that week are sub-standard, either just a main course, or leftovers. Sean looked at me after my comment and agreed with me, ouch. It is those days or that time of the day that Caleb doesn't want to be put down. He needs me, he wants me, I am his momma and that is most important. It is hard to say the dishes can wait, the laundry that needs to be folded and put away can wait without me feeling like I am failing at my responsibilities. 

However I am blessed with a husband that understands, that wants me to make our son my first priority throughout the day and is always willing to help clean the house alongside me. He doesn't expect a fabulous meal on the table at 6pm on the dot every day. He doesn't mind that sometimes the laundry isn't folded right after the dryer buzzer has sounded. 
That helps my momma's heart. That helps take away the guilt that I feel. 

Lastly, I was going through my photos and found this one of Caleb in the week after he was born. Where has my newborn gone and how will he be 4 months next Tuesday? Time slow down!

19 comments:

BLovedBoston said...

Oh girl you are the one helping this precious baby reach all his milestones!! Just think of that when you feel like you're falling behind!! You have a wonderful and supportive husband that is helping you as well and I know you are fully aware of that blessing!! I think you're doing a fantastic job!! :)

Kayla MKOY said...

This is so sweet, girl. It is funny how life works sometimes but you're doing the best you can and putting your little man first. :) I'm so glad for that!

Courtney [Sweet Turtle Soup] said...

I've perfected the uncaring ability to let laundry hang out in the dryer for days! I'm glad there is such a thing as a dewrinkle cycle. Some days are easier though as they get older. The first 6 months were really hard and nothing got done. Babies sure are demanding! I think you are doing awesome if you manage one meal a day. Heck I can't do that now. Pbjs for everybody!

Rebekah said...

Oh girl, I completely understand! I've been there, and am still there. Some days are just hard to keep up and some nights I go to bed so frazzled thinking about everything waiting for me to finish the next day. Thankfully James goes to bed at 6:30pm now so I try to get dinner prepped in the afternoon and then quickly throw it together while Dylan takes care of bedtime. Sometimes we eat together or in shifts depending on James' mood but you're doing awesome. Hang in there!

Allison Clements said...

Your son is so handsome! You are so lucky to have a husband who understands your desires. So sweet. I'm sorry you had a rough week, but those weeks aren't going to be what you remember 18 years from now :)

Allison over at Allison's Eye

Allyson Butler said...

How sweet of your husband to come alongside you like that! Let those dishes hang out for awhile; laundry can wait; and leftovers are just fine when you're loving on that sweet baby!

awhite said...

Doll, you are doing the BEST you can- and that's definitely enough! Don't be too hard on yourself- you're an amazing mom and wife, and your boys love you dearly! :)

-Ashley
http://lestylorouge.com

Shelby {Recent Somethings} said...

Aw, they grow up so fast. Enjoy it all and keep being the best mama ever :)

brooke lyn said...

all i am getting here out of this post is that you need to teach Sean more well-balanced meals he can cook!

Sarah said...

I was just telling my husband that I wanted to try new recipes for dinners cause I was feeling that I wasn't putting good dinners on the table. He told me he loves everything I make and that he thinks everything is good...good thing Sean understands, and I always have to tell myself, they're only this small for so long got to take advantage of the cuddles and the extra holding cause when they get older it's few and far between...Caleb is so cute!

picklesandchapstick said...

Awe! You're doing a great job, Mama! It's hard not to be on tough on yourself and you're VERY lucky you have someone who wants to help you out. I bought a crockpot after Charlie was born and sometimes that was my best friend. I also (if I had time) would prep snacks that I could quickly grab and go. Sending you a virtual hug! hang in there!
xo
Rachel

Laura {happily ever} Parker said...

Oh man I already am the WORST at having dinner prepared. My poor husband is going to starve after this baby comes!

Stacy G said...

You are doing great, don't get yourself down! Balancing things as a wife and mother are extremely difficult. I have 3 little ones all three years apart and trust me I struggle from time to time.(like everyday)lol I find it helps me immensely to plan out a dinner menu for the week. Saves me so much time! Also if you can find the time prep your dinner the night before or in the morning.(I aim for the morning!) That also helps. I can relate. I have nights when I just feel like dissapointed, but I just try to remember I am doing my best! There's just not enough time in the day sometimes! XO Have a great weekend!

Mree said...

You are a great mummy!!! Don't beat yourself up. Taking care of your son is the most important job in the world but It is hard to find that balance. Take it day by day. You are doing a great job, don't be so hard on yourself.

Hugs, Mree

Lauren said...

man, girl...trust me, you are doing amazing! I've totally been there, but I came up with a saying when Elyse was a newborn when people would ask me how the day had gone...."Well, today was bad, but I know that tomorrow will be different. It might not be better, but at least it will be different." With a newborn/infant you can't count on much...but you can pretty much always count on each day being different!

Jamie LaFuze said...

I can't wait to hug you tomorrow!!! And for so many reasons, because I completely understand how you feel but it is usually me that can't stand the fact that laundry isn't folded or it looks like a bomb went off in our house. So many prayers for you right now! You are such an amazing mama to Caleb, and he is so blessed to have you care for him so deeply each and every day!

helen said...

meg, you are an amazing mom and i am still feeling everything you're going through. we want so much to be excellent at this wife/mother stuff, but we learn that we cannot do any of it without God's grace. caleb and sean are so blessed to have you, and your sacrificial heart is ensuring that your sweet family are thriving. praying for you <3

p.s. i only get one solid meal on the table once a week too. the rest of the time, it's leftovers, frozen stuff from trader joes, potluck with church family, or take out. i used to feel guilty about it, but we're all adjusting to a new normal...and i've found that quality time with alex and serene is more precious :)

Lacey said...

Annabelle always (and still does) wanted to be held or entertained, so finding a balance has always been a challenge with her. It's always hard when I have to sit with her and my mind is racing with all the things I have to get done! And of course once you get into a rhythm, a certain someone wants to mix it up again!

whit | Black Little Button blog said...

you and i both dear. constant struggle for me this week too. :( we got this!
-whit