Last week was a rough one for me but a great one for Caleb. Funny how that works doesn't it? Caleb had a very active week. On Tuesday he rolled from his stomach to his back five times that day. Then on Thursday he rolled from his back to his stomach and has done that frequently since. As a result, he is moving all over his crib at night, which means waking up more thorough the night. The previous week I was getting 5,6,7 hour stretches of sleep from him. Once all this moving happened, he is back to every three hours. Combined with the more frequent wake-up times, the rest of the week everything else I had to do in life, housework, bible study, etc. I just always felt behind, always felt like I was playing catch up. By the end of the week, I was exhausted from feeling behind, waking up more frequently and just doing life. While my son was growing, being more active and reaching milestones, I was falling behind in life.
It is hard to put those feelings aside, the negative feelings that I wasn't doing life very well. Some days Caleb doesn't really want to be put down, he doesn't want to spend as much time on his activity pad. Those are harder days when I just see my list of things to do piling up. Dinners lately has been sub-par. I commented to Sean the other day how I seem to get one solid meal on the table, solid meal balanced, a main course and some veggies. The rest of the meals that week are sub-standard, either just a main course, or leftovers. Sean looked at me after my comment and agreed with me, ouch. It is those days or that time of the day that Caleb doesn't want to be put down. He needs me, he wants me, I am his momma and that is most important. It is hard to say the dishes can wait, the laundry that needs to be folded and put away can wait without me feeling like I am failing at my responsibilities.
However I am blessed with a husband that understands, that wants me to make our son my first priority throughout the day and is always willing to help clean the house alongside me. He doesn't expect a fabulous meal on the table at 6pm on the dot every day. He doesn't mind that sometimes the laundry isn't folded right after the dryer buzzer has sounded.
That helps my momma's heart. That helps take away the guilt that I feel.
Lastly, I was going through my photos and found this one of Caleb in the week after he was born. Where has my newborn gone and how will he be 4 months next Tuesday? Time slow down!