Today I am confessing something and going deep with you, revealing a part of me that I am scared to do in fact.
I am not very good at going out of my comfort zone.
I am not very good at letting my guard down.
(thank goodness my God is bigger than the above)
The last couple of months have been out of my comfort zone. I am doing things that slightly scare me and cause me to want to curl up in bed and shut out the world. Yes, that might be my reaction when I am asked to go out of my comfort zone.
It is hard, hard to step out. It is hard to say the things that I need to say because I feel I will sound stupid. I do care a little too much of what others think of me.
One reason I am afraid to go out of my comfort zone is because I am afraid of saying the wrong thing.
I care what others think of me, not as much as I used to but still I care.
It is hard trying something new and stepping out of my comfort zone.
It is my fears that hold me back - the fear of failure, the fear of doing it wrong and the fear that I won't be good at it and Satan is really good at using my fears to continue to hold me back.
There are new things I am trying the last few months, motherhood is certainly among them, and they scare me at times. Some days I feel confident about what I am doing that is taking me out of my comfort zone, other days I wish it were easier and at times I admit I feel like giving up. The reason I am stepping out of my comfort zone is for something greater and I am afraid the thing I don't want the most could possibly become a reality one day.
But I'm working at it, one day by one day at stepping out of my comfort zone because I believe that God will provide so I can continue doing what my heart's desire is, staying at home with my precious Caleb.
Speaking of growth, I mentioned my Mother's Day present was a growth chart for Caleb that Sean made. Here is the chart that we can take with us to any house we live at.
He is just shy 24 inches tall now :-)