Dear Readers...

I am back from my min-vacation up to Oregon. Seriously all of you bloggers who live up there Erika Lee, Kira, Mandee and many others you are all lucky Oregon ducks ;-) or maybe Beavers if you root for that team, for getting to live in such a beautiful state. 
I had a post planned for this morning that included some recently found beautiful purses, I have a slight obsession with purses. But I need to write what is on my heart today or lest I am not doing any of you a favor but not being real and honest with you.        

I am struggling... 

I am struggling in life right now for a variety of reasons, so there isn't one specific thing I can pinpoint out, solve that and then everything would be a-ok. I will start with my job since that is a big portion of my time each week. I struggle because I feel like I go to a dead-end job with no way out, I have been sending in resumes, making contacts, and nothing is working. I know the economy isn't the best right now, but I refuse to let that bring me down. However, I take a day off which I did on Friday and I struggle with having to return this morning. It is a cyclical situation, I don't like my job but I lack the motivation to do much about it. And that is where I get stuck because I have no idea what God wants me to do with my life. I look at a job description, get excited for a bit then realize I don't have what they are looking for or the job sounds really interesting but could I do it? My head is filled with so many doubts and questions. 
I struggle to be the wife that my husband needs as well. Many of you know he is a college cross country and track coach, and it has been difficult on me, his schedule, the hours he has to put into it, and the time he is gone. I don't understand why I can't be more supportive and understanding to his job, and what he needs from me. I just know I don't do a very good time and as a result, I have done and said some things I am not very proud of...
As I write this early in the morning with my husband gone, and my puppies to keep me company, I just want you to know I am a work in progress every day, but behind the recipes, the DIY projects, and the smiling photos, is a girl who is struggling, who has a lot of self-doubts and insecurities. But that is me and today I am being real...
I have to go now because Kip is gently whining at me to get out of bed and feed him breakfast, that boy talks food and is led by his stomach!

43 comments:

P!nky said...

Oh sweet sweet Meg, your words SPOKE TO MY HEART today. I am 100% with you about the job situation. I have a good and stable job and luckily in the part of the company that is growing. And while I am so thankful I have a job, I am NOT happy and don't like my work.
I am also struggling with what GOD wants me to do, and have lacked the motivation to look elsewhere. It's frustrating to not know WHERE I should be and feel as though I am wasting my days and life.
I will keep you in my prayers and ask for guidance for the both of us.
Hugs and smiles your way!
xoxo

CALLIE said...

O Meg!! Don't ever think you can't "do" a job or are not what they are looking for. Even if it says to have a year more experience than you have or something, you send that resume anyways!!!! One day, when you least expect, after you've prayed and prayed, God will send something fantastic your way! We just have to learn to be patient and wait for Him. Although we may not understand it, there is a reason why the perfect job hasn't come along yet. Don't worry love, He's got you taken care of. Praying for you :)

Cheer up buttercup

{The Perfect Palette} said...

we're all a work in progress. hang in there. I used to work in a very non fulfilling job. It was a good job in terms of the money, but I was not happy. I had a degree in art, but no idea how to make a living with my art. So I ended up working at IBM for five years selling software to the fortune 500. It was awful. I hated commuting an hour there and an hour back for a job that I just wasn't happy with. I guess the reason I'm sharing this is just to let you know that you're not alone and it's possible to find your happy ending. Just keep plugging away and you'll find your happy place.

xo, chrissy

Karen said...

Oh Meg, my heart breaks for you hearing of your struggles. Thank you for your openness and honesty. God will bring everything to you at the right time. I wish I had the perfect answer for you or an amazing job offer. When I was like that with my job... I got pregnant :) Just a thought ;) Its a season, and this too shall pass. Lets have that lunch soon!

Lindsay said...

aw lady! i feel the SAME way about my job. i mean, i have a great steady job that pays well, but i hate it. i hate going to work everyday and after fabulous weekends i get so down on sunday nights knowing i have another full week of work ahead of me. i am searching for something new so hopefully something will show up for both of us!

ashley said...

hey meg, i know how it is to work a job that you don't like. it can be miserable. just want you to know i am here for ya if you need to talk. hang in there, God has big plans for you!

Jennifer @ Delightfully Noted said...

Oh Meg, gosh you've hit home with this post! I have felt the same exact way about my job for the past year. It requires traveling {which after 3 years I have grown to despise!}, I can't stand the person I work for, and it is not challenging by any means. I have no motivation to look for another one b/c it has always been a challenge to me to find anything. I don't have a niche; I'm not a nurse or engineer or anything like that so I sit down and don't even know what to seach for when job seeking. Every time my hubby and I discuss letting me quit and pursuing my stationery Etsy biz full time {which is what I want to do!}something comes up; like we discovered we have some med issues in which his job's health insurance does not cover and mine does so it's like I'm stuck!! I hope something pans out for you. There's nothing more miserable then waking up every morning and dreading your day:) {{hugs}}

Lauren said...

thanks for bringing such honesty to your blog. I think so many of us struggle with our own situations and are too afraid to share. Hubby's job sounds similar to yours...not something he loves and we've even submitted several resume's to jobs that he's more than qualified for. I just keep clinging to the fact that God's timing is perfect...mine is not!

Lauren said...

thanks for bringing such honesty to your blog. I think so many of us struggle with our own situations and are too afraid to share. Hubby's job sounds similar to yours...not something he loves and we've even submitted several resume's to jobs that he's more than qualified for. I just keep clinging to the fact that God's timing is perfect...mine is not!

Jenna said...

Awww Meg! I am so sorry to hear about your current struggles, but you are very brave for putting them into words and sharing them. I'll definitely be saying a few prayers for you! Hang in there! You're an amazing lady!

Jamie Harris said...

I hate to read that your heart is struggling today. I think it's amazing that you can share that through your blog. It's a sign of strength to be able to admit your weaknesses. As far as the job, I had the same struggle two years ago. I got really depressed over my job and let it affect everything in my life. Looking for a new job can sometimes be a job in itself. I finally found one that I am happy with, and I know I'm where I am supposed to be for now. I know that God has a plan for great things for you. He is going to take care of you. He may just need you to keep positive and trust His plan right now. I will definitely be praying for you throughout this journey. Keep your head up!! Hey, I would hire you as a writer! :)

katie [the bright life] said...

I hope you enjoyed Oregon! Praying for you, Meg. God has such a great plan for you and Sean. And, to echo what the other ladies have said, ALWAYS send in your resume even if the job description sounds intimidating! Places tend to post for higher qualifications than they're looking for, and we're always more qualified than we think! If nothing else, you learn on the job! If you're not satisfied in your work, do what you can to change it and God will provide the rest in His own timing. I understand your struggle with Sean's schedule, but keep your chin up! One of the biggest lessons so far for me this season is learning to be intentional and available when Landon IS around, instead of being sad that he's gone. You can be strong in the Lord through all of this!! Xo, Katie

Sarah said...

I'm so sorry. It's very difficult being in that kind of a hard place. It seems very defeating. I went through a similar time in a different way. It does get better. Especially when your mind is set on only wanting what God has in store for you. It slowly gets better. The bible says we cling closer to God in our hard times which in the end is more rewarding so I pray this is the case for you. You are such a sweetie, thanks for sharing.

- Sarah
http://agirlintransit.blogspot.com

Sarah said...

Hey Meg, sorry to hear you are struggling right now. It's very brave of you to put this out there and to be completely honest! I commend you for that! I can definitely relate to your work situation, so I want you to know that you're not alone. I struggle every day with having to get up and go to my job. It's a decent job, but it's just ok for right now. It definitely doesn't fulfill me other than financially. I suppose I stay at my job because I'm waiting until my bf goes to grad school. Then we'll move somewhere else, and I can start over. I know it seems difficult right now, especially when you feel like you don't have any guidance. But, hang in there. The best advice I can give is to just keep sending out your resume. Even if you feel you don't qualify. You never know, you just might get a call back. I hope things start looking up for you!

Rod and Alex - aka: "Rolex" said...

Hey there girlie! I just want you to know that you are not alone. We are all a work in progress and we all feel this way to some extent. My husband is a criminal defense attorney and it is very very difficult sometimes. The stress gets to us and I struggle with the guilt of feeling that I may not be doing as much as I should as a wife.
What you are feeling is normal and as long as you are looking up for guidance and remaining a "work in progress"...you're going to be great!
Have a wonderful week Meg!

Ashley said...

Things will get better! You are just in the inbtween stage right now! Love is patient!

I am a new follower:)

Feel free to pop by and say hello;)

Mandee said...

Oh Meg....you are going through a tough period of time. I am really sorry but thankful that you've shared it with your blog friends so you can get the support you need. I encourage you to take a leap and apply for those jobs that sound exciting although you doubt yourself---most places just want someone super excited and capable rather than extremely experienced. That matters so much more. I think you will find something---I worked a crappy job for 2 years and 4 months before I finally moved to a better situation. As for your husband, I can relate as well. My boyfriend works an on call position and it seems like every time we have important plans such as a wedding or concert tickets, his phone rings and he has to take off and I attend the event alone. I have learned the best thing to do it accept it and cherish the time we do have together. It is so hard! I am sorry he has such crazy hours. I hope he loves what he does and it is worth it. I can't pretend to have the best advice for you but I can just say hang in there! You are doing great and so many people love to read your blog. thanks for being real and honest with us.

Hilliary@ Happily Ever Healthy said...

You have totally hit home with this post. I am struggling with many of the very same things right now as you. I feel you on the dead-end job. I left my dead end job and am now struggling to find a new job. I understand the frustration that goes along with sending out resumes, making contacts and nothing coming through for you. Keep your head up, I know thats easier said then done but there is a plan. Just keep your head up and know that you are not alone in the things you are struggling with. You are a good person, with a god heart. Something good will come about, just keep believing in yourself.

Aimee said...

I will definitely be praying for you! I know the job thing is tough right now but keep trying and do not get discouraged! I know it is easier said than done as I have been there before but there is something great waiting for you! There are two books that I read that I would highly recommend to anyone in a similar situation. The first is, The Truth About You and the second is Find Your Strongest Life Now. Both are written by Marcus Buckingham and the books are centered around the working woman and as I've said before I highly recommend! I will definitely be thinking of you regarding the job. Chin up and keep your mind open because the best is yet to come!

Stephanie said...

Oh Meg...I completely understand. Life is tough and when things aren't going right it makes it even worse. I think we all struggle, but we feel like we have to put on a front that everything is awesome and that just isn't realistic. You're in my prayers!

BeckyJo606 said...

Oh friend! I am, as always, inspired by your honesty. I think you've put my feelings into words. I struggle off and on with my job and the time it makes me spend away from Rob. I get so frustrated about that and instead of saying that I miss him, I get so mean! I think it's something a lot of us face--and I'm glad you've brought it out into the open.

Jen @ redsolesandredwine said...

Meg - beautifully written post. I'm sorry for your struggles and we all relate. Regarding your job - follow your heart and keep trying and have faith. Everything happens for a reason and you will find where your supposed to be. Before I found that I loved my job, I was an auditor and used to cry for 3 years every Sunday because I dreaded going to work on Monday. I took the plunge went back to school and found my career within fashion and never looked back. I love what I did and succeeded because I loved my job. It will happen.

Being a wife, I understand. Being married is so much harder than people think. Having the patience, being supportive, etc is hard everyday! I'm sure your a good wife and friend and one or two off days for being difficult is ok!

Keep your chin up and remember all the good that you do. The most successful people are hard on themselves and you already have that.

amy b.s. said...

one day at a time. i find that if i focus on just one small thing and fix that or change my attitude about it and then build from there, it doesn't seem so overwhelming. marriage is hard, and that's just the reality of it. but the fact that you recognize some of the things you'd like to change is positive.

and i feel you about the job situation. everyone just keeps saying i should be happy to have a job in this economy, but that doesn't mean i'm happy in my job.

Michelle said...

First I think you're really brave for admitting this since EVERYONE goes through it. You have a strong faith, let that get you through it. I agree with Amy above that you should focus on one thing at a time. If I want to tackle a big issue once little piece at a time I say to myself "By the mile, its a trial. By the yard, its hard. But by the inch, its a cinch!" Kind of stupid but true. Like Day one - google some resume tips, day two - open yours and review it, Day three - start re-writing some things. It doesn't have to be all at once. Good luck and keep us posted. :-)

iris said...

Dude, I'm pretty sure this is everyone's secret description of their life. You're not alone in any of it.

Whitney said...

I'm a new follower and I love this post. One year ago I was going through the EXACT same thing. I hated my job so much and it led me into a dark depression. I don't even like to remember those times. I applied for hundreds of jobs and interviewed for so many until I found the one I'm at now and I love it. Hang in there.. it will happen for you.

sherri lynn said...

Meg I think we will go through our entire lives wanting to be better wives - it is a continuous refining process! I appreciate your transparency in this post. I hope you can find some direction in your job situation!

Kerri said...

Ahh, I very much understand how it feels to just feel like you're "treading water", and even worse what it's like to be entirely on pause. Great post and all the best to you as you wait to see where your road is taking you. And like I said, I understand! :)

Susan said...

Oh Meg, I'm so sorry that you are struggling. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Again, I don't know a lot, but I do know that if you keep your faith and belief that things will get better, they will. I have faith that soon you will find what you are meant to do and you will enjoy every minute of it. I also bet that an opportunity is going to come knocking on your door when you least expect it (the best ones do!). Keep hangin in there! I'm pulling for you! In the meantime, I love your blog and all the work you put into it everyday. It's one of my favorite must reads everyday (and I know I'm not alone!). Stay strong hon!

amy grace said...

I can totally sympathize! A lot of the time my dissatisfaction spills over to my home life and I don't want to clean, do projects, cook, or write on my blog. I want to try different things but I am just so unmotivated to do anything about it!! I'll be thinking and praying for you girlie!

Kathleen said...

Ah Meg! I know it too a lot to write this out. But I am so glad that you did. I wish I could be this honest on my blog. Job searching is so hard. But don't give on finding one that you love. Because when you do find that job you will so incredibly happy. I know it! Just from reading your blog I know that anyone who you work for will be very lucky to have you. Keep your head up! And if you need anything (even though we don't live close) I will be more than happy to lend a computer ear! :) this is just one more curve in the road we call life.

Married...with a Pup said...

WOW! If only we all could be this honest. You are seriously inspiring me! I've been going through some self-doubt / other stuff lately and I can't bring myself to write about it! I'm encouraged by your honesty and knowing what you need to work on is the first step =) PS- I can't believe this but I discovered I wasn't following your blog yet; so I'm your newest follower!

Elle said...

Oh girl! I am right there with you. My job is alright but it is a dead end job and doesnt pay much. I have been applying for months and either a)my experience doesnt fit or b) it's out of state and they wont do a skype interview and I cant afford to fly everywhere! Keep your head up girl! It's goota work out sooner or later...at least that is what I kept telling myself! <3

Mrs. Pancakes said...

thanks for being so honest and real Meg! i hope that the struggle is only temporary and you get some answers from the one you need answers from the most...our heavenly Father! sometimes what you want to do may be right in front of you...hold onto your husband and he to you and hope everything turns out better soon! but good you're talking about it! thanks for sharing.

KDC Events said...

Oh Meg, I know I feel the same way! I can't stand my husbands job and I know I say and do things that are not nice. I hate when he misses time away from the family, or when I am at the kids events alone. BUT I am thankful we are both working in this economy. Know your bloggy buddies are here and it appears a lot of us feel the same! Hang in there!

Stephanie @ henry happened said...

Meg, that took a lot of guts to be honest. I know we all put out happy posts, like all is going a-ok, but I think we all struggle. I'm sorry you don't like your job (or your hubby's!) - I'm sure that is incredibly stressful! Feel free to vent here anytime, you have lots of support in bloggyland!

Lindsay @ Delighted Momma said...

Meg..love ya girl! Thank you for being honest and real. I am totally relate to this in some way or w another. In bloggy land it is up to us as to how much we share and let people know whos really behind the blog and its nice to know that some of my favorite bloggers (you included) are real and their life is not just mason jars and picnics 24/7. Keep your head up friend! God has big plans for you I am sure of that!

Simply LKJ said...

Meg,
Sorry I didn't comment yesterday. I did read your post, but didn't know what to say at the time. I am sorry you are struggling. Like most have already stated, we all go through it at some point or another in our lifetime. I am currently struggling in a different way...I've done the job, I've been the stay at home mom, and now, I will have two off on their own next year, and I will enter a new phase in my life. A very scary one. At 43, I find myself wondering what's next? I find my comfort in knowing that God has already laid that path out for me, and if I will just embrace it, it is there for the taking. Each new phase in our life is a leap of faith, but I have to say I haven't regretted a one...even when I thought it was the worst possible scenario.

Tonia @ TheGunnySack.com said...

Sorry, I didn't see this yesterday but I was reading today's post and thought I would scroll down to see what you were talking about! I totally know what you mean! It feels like everyone is struggling! Most of the time on these blog we just put our best out there and only our offline friends see our real struggles. I am a stay-at-home mom whos kids are now in school all day. So, I feel like I should get a job to help financially but I need to be available for my kids in the evening and I drive them too and from school. So there is only a small window of time when I could work! I really don't have any words of wisdom for you but just know that I understand and thank you for sharing something so personal!

Ashley said...

I didn't see this post yesterday, but I'm thinking of you, girlie! Hope you're smiling a little more today since you have so many people supporting you! It's amazing how many people are thinking of ya :) Keep your head up, all will work out for you!

sarah@totalbassetcase.com said...

Thinking of you Meg. I was in your exact position not too long ago. I had been searching for a job for almost a year. And everyday struggling to go to mine. I had some very low points and considered quitting and just living off my savings until I found something.
After lots of prayer and encouragement from my husband something finally came about!
I know how awful it is to wait and wait and wait but something will come about!!
I say keep applying for jobs, even if you dont match their qualifications 100%...you never know how it will turn out!!

Holly said...

I meant to comment on this yesterday when I read it but I didn't and I am so sorry!!

Struggling at a job you hate makes life so much worse than you want it to be, I've been there. Have you ever thought that maybe God *wants* you at those jobs where you don't have all the qualifications or maybe it's too much right away?? I worried so much about jobs that I would love to have that I didn't have qualifications for and then I ended up doing an Admin. Asst. job, but I found my dream job along the way and I can actually get to my dream job through my current job!!! Even if someone random pops up that you don't think you will get, apply for it. God works in crazy roundabout ways and you never know where it might lead.

As for becoming the wife you want to be, I would suggest trying to talk to someone. If you're having issues and insecurities I'm not sure there is much that you or your husband can do to satisfy your needs unless you truly address them. Talking with someone else who is not biased toward either of you could help with the struggles you're having.

I hope I didn't offend you with anything I said, but I hope you are able to find peace soon!

Lia Joy @ life is aMAYESing said...

Meg - I completely understand where you're coming from. For a little over a year I was stuck in a job as a temporary associate and I absolutely hated every minute of that job. I would find myself crying myself to sleep at night because I didn't want to have to wake up the next morning and do it all over again. And I wanted so badly to find a new job, but didn't know how to go on interviews without anyone finding out. All I can say is be patient. God has a plan and eventually you'll end up exactly where He wants you! And I promise it's worth it. I now have been at my new job for almost a year and I genuinely LOVE my job!!

And I can relate with my husbands job. He's a CPA and from Janary 1 - sometime in mid-May, he works 15+ hour days and for about 2 months of it he lives in Dallas in a hotel. And I find myself getting mad/upset with him when he is just doing his job and working so hard to support our family. I am constantly struggling to be the best wife I can be and to not let my selfishness and jealousy get in the way.

This is seriously the longest blog comment ever. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me!I'm always here :)