i've been so stupid...

This is a confessional post all, get ready for some real, honest and true feelings. Long before I started this blog, I was unhappy, mainly because of my job. When I first started it was everything, but I also didn't have a lot of friends, that's just the way things were. It was that weird, awkward post college time when most people moved away. Anyways but I truly loved my job, and just for protection's sake I won't reveal where I work, hope none of you are disappointed. Then about 2 years after I started, that love feeling just dropped. It didn't drop slow, it hit the hate level HARD. I didn't have the luxury of finding a new job though, I was in grad school at the time so it was very convenient to continue that at my current job. I was crying out to God, asking Him why I didn't like my job, and to help me.

And here I am 5 years after I started my job, still there, still wanting a way out, asking God to provide something all the time, asking Him to provide me encouragement until that new job comes along. Well Friday comes and within 3 days of sending in a resume, I am set up with an interview. Now whether God provides this as my new job, it doesn't matter that much to me right now. I am just focused on this interview and asking Him to help with me that, going step by step, not getting ahead of myself. But you know the encouragement that I was praying for was there all the time, I didn't realize it at the time, but He was providing the encouragement. Through this blog, which gave me excitement that I have been lacking recently, through all of you fellow bloggers who are so sweet in your comments, through my friends and the plethora that God has provided. I'll even say some of the blog giveaways that I have won are encouragement, just something sweet to help me during the rough times. Through my husband who is always there for me, and of course coming home every day to the two sweetest dogs, the frustrations just melt away. I feel a dissatisfaction sitting at a job for 40 hours a week feeling like my life is wasting away and getting to that point in my job where I was settling. I was settling at 27! How scary is that!

I have been kicking myself since Friday because I have been so stupid, not seeing that God has been providing the encouragement that I have been asking for. God always answers prayer in one of three ways, yes, no or wait. Regardless of his answer, He ALWAYS has a reason for how He answers my prayers.

Today I am just reflecting on that fact that again God has shown me I am not in control ever, even though I pretend that I am. I'll leave you with this: On Friday during my morning run, I was asking God that I would receive an email that day from the person I sent my resume, to get acknowledgement of my resume. Guess what? He answered, I got an email. Then several hours later, a phone call from the HR department to set up an interview. Fortunately, I have this extra day in the weekend to prepare, but I am still in awe that God answered my specific prayer request. Recently, I wrote a guest post over at Ashley's blog, Diary of a Reporter on how I know God listens to His children.  I have an additional item to add to that growing list!

Thank you all for listening, I hope you are having a wonderful holiday spending it with your friends and family, enjoying the bbqs, pool parties and the end of wearing white, although I will continue to!

41 comments:

Holly said...

Meg, it's totally normal to ignore God's help and encouragement through others. People do it every day, and I know I am guilty of it!! Don't beat yourself up over it :)

I am SO thankful that you got an interview!! This has God's work written all over it and I know that you will ace the interview and come out on top!! Let me know when the interview is and I will be sure to say some extra special prayers for you that day! You are an amazing woman and deserve nothing but the best for your life :) God has a plan for you and I know it's a great one!!

Life With Lauren said...

Good luck I will pray you get it. I know it is to be unhappy where you are believe me I am in the same boat! Hope it all works out!

Whitney said...

I absolutely 100% can relate to the post. In the past and even sometimes now I feel, I want to quit my job. I don't like it at times. It is really convenient for me to stay, since it counts as my internship for graduate school. Plus, the pay is pretty nice. Real grown up money. People always tell you, if you don't like it, change it. That is easier said than done. When you need to make equivalent money, there just isn't many jobs out there that make x amount of money. I don't want to settle. I've tried applying for other jobs and changing my situation. I've gotten interviews, but never the job. Some of it has to do with my school schedule, which knocks me out of it. I have three months left of graduate school. I'm kind of nervous, because I don't want to be stuck in the same situation. I think it causes me depression from time to time.

Good luck on your interview! I'll be thinking of you.

Jenny in Ohio said...

hey, that is so cool! I hope the interview goes well, and that God will answer your prayers soon!

Elizabeth Ann (Elizabeth Ann's Recipe Box said...

Praying for you! :-) Let us know how the interview goes! :-)

Moon said...

I always scream as loud as I can that I will stop my job the second I don't feel happy anymore because I am too young to 'not like' my job.

However, if I'm honest, I'm not very happy about it and I keep doing it because I can't bear to stop the career jet I'm on... God has given me plenty opportunity to take another postion, but I always seem to chicken out...

I hope you find the job of your life!

Kara {A Little Bit of Lovely} said...

What an awesome post. I hope your interview goes well xoxo

Alisha said...

My favorite quote of all time "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." It's so true. No matter how hard we try to control things or plan things out for our futures they never go according to plan. And that's ok. God wants us to know He's in control anyway. :)

I hope you're interview is a new and fresh start to something that you will enjoy. Being honest and writing things down really helps you focus and look towards God. Praying for you, sweet girl!

xoxo

ashley said...

praying for you, Meg! i know you will rock that interview..but no matter how it goes, just know that God has amazing things in store for you. :)

ashley said...

praying for you, Meg! i know you will rock that interview..but no matter how it goes, just know that God has amazing things in store for you. :)

Amy Rene said...

thanks for being so transparent & honest! I hope it all works out for you. thanks for the morning encouragement!

Ashley said...

How amazing! I hope your interview goes well... I'm sure you'll be wonderful! Sending thoughts and prayers!

siddathornton said...

how amazing that your prayers were answered! good luck on your interview. the feeling of being dissatisfied in your job is all too familiar with me - in fact, i am hoping to apply to grad school in january so i can work toward my mfa in creative writing. a year ago today, i was on my way to physician assistant school.

i've found that answers to your prayers aren't always the obvious route. but it's so important to take a look inside yourself & determine what you really want & need.

anyways... now that i've written you a novel here...

good luck! & i hope you are enjoying labor day!

Jenna said...

Good luck with your interview Meg! I am sure you are going to do a fantastic job! I'm so sorry you've been feeling so miserable in your job for so long :/ that really has to be difficult and just plain draining, but I'm glad to hear you're getting through it! I am going to say lots of prayers for you for this interview! You can do it!

Rebekah said...

I'm so glad that you got an interview! God has His hand in all of this and I'll be praying for you!

Stesha said...

I love this post. I know how you feel, that after college everyone leaves, life is different, kinda lost in what you are doing..... yepp i am experiencing that right now! sucks! i am looking for a new job, but i put it off... I am no longer going to do that! Thanks for the motivation!!!

xxoo
Classic & Bubbly

Danielle said...

I'm so sorry you've been feeling down in the dumps lately. But isn't it awesome how God answers our prayers? How He really is listening to us? I am so thankful that you have this interview. I know you are going to do great on it! God has a plan for you Meg! I'll be thinking of you :)

CALLIE said...

Good Luck to you Sweet Meg!! I will be praying for you that it goes well.

Simply LKJ said...

Great post Meg! We are all guilty of not "hearing/listening" to God. He is always there, and yes, always has an answer. Not always the one WE want, but the RIGHT one at the time nonetheless!! Praying you have a fabulous interview.

Amanda said...

Congrats, Meg!!! This is so exciting! I have something similar going on with me, but things are still in the works, so I'm keeping mum. I'm crossing my fingers that the interview goes really well!!

REBrown said...

You'll get to where you need to be...I just know it!

I'm thinking I'll probably be in the same boat job-wise in the next few years.

Ashley said...

Good luck! I hope things will work out for you! I'm going through a similar situation right now, so I completely understand how you're feeling.

Lauren said...

isn't God just so stinkin' awesome! Thinking about you girl, and I hope the interview goes well! Good luck!

Susan said...

Meg, that is so great that good things are happening in your work life. He knows that we should never settle for things in our lives isn't it cray? Way to go! I'll keep praying for you and for all those starting new chapters (or those that are wanting to). You're not alone in this and know that lots of people are thinking of you! Good luck!

Meggan of Lila Grace said...

You are so sweet Meg, thank you for sharing this!! I am so excited for you and your new potential role! I work in HR so feel free to let me know if you have any questions along that line!! Praying for YOU! xoxo

kira said...

Good luck with the interview, and try to not be too discouraged if it doesn't work out. It only means there is something even better for you on the horizon.

Jess said...

I've been in some pretty rotten jobs before. The right job will come when you need it most. Many times I've learned that my hardships were meant to help me in the long run, or to gain experience I wouldn't have gotten otherwise, for something MUCH better that is coming!

natasha {schue love} said...

Wishing you all the luck with the interview! You have great perspective and I know it's not always easy getting there...let us know how it goes!! :)

Stephanie said...

God is always there and listening, isn't He? Sometimes it's hard to remember though- you know I'm sort of in the same boat. It's so great when you remember again that God is here for us. It's such a comforting feeling. Good luck with your interview...I'll say some prayers for you!!!

Christina said...

I think sometimes it just takes a while to see things. We are all human and we get in our own way a lot!

Good luck on the interview! I hope it goes great!!

Ruthie Hart said...

I am so happy you opened up Megan! Praying for you today!

Hilliary@ Happily Ever Healthy said...

Good luck with your interview, you will do fabulous! I love coming to your blog and reading your post, especially the ones where you are so open about what you are feeling! Keep your head up and keep trusting, something good will happen! I hope you have a fabulous start to your week!

Camylla Leonardi said...

Keeping things in is never a good way to go. That why you have your blog, and us! were here to listes. God is amazing, He knows whats best for you and He would never want to see you hurt. So just trust in Him, and he will guide you. Good luck in your Job interview. I'll be praying for you!

Lauren said...

I think it is totally normal for things to just "click" sometimes and realize that prayers we had been praying for a long time have already been answered - just not in the way we may have thought. God is preparing the BEST job for you - whether it is this one, or another, good things are coming :) Keep your head up and your heart open to what God has planned (since it may be different than what you have planned - but if so, certainly better) and remember the best is yet to be!

katie [the bright life] said...

What a great post...thanks for sharing your heart here. Will be praying for you with the possibility of a new job. Don't you love the blog world? For me it's been such a wonderful source of encouragement from some of the most sweet and genuine people. The best. Xo, Katie

BeckyJo606 said...

Such a great and honest post! I know the feeling about being unhappy with your job or just one part of your life. I LOVED what you said about "settling". We are so young and yet we "settle" for things when we know we are destined to have much better things/jobs/friends/partners/etc. I am anxious for your interview and praying that God's plan will be revealed to you!! :)

Nichole said...

I have so been there. Hang in there God is sovereign. There is a season for everything... He might be preparing you for something greater (or worse.. yikes) but if you are seeking his will you can't go wrong! Love your honesty!! oxoxo

Katie said...

Wishing you so much luck on your interview, Meg!


this was a great post. I love reading true feelings sometimes :)

amy grace said...

Ugh, I SO FEEL YOU. I love my job, most days, but some days I just feel like I'm ready for a change. It's been 6 years and my bosses are amazing and my duties are a lot, but they are enjoyable, but I still get the sense I'm suppose to be doing something more. I know I'm lucky to have a job that pays well, is flexible, with great benefits and I can call my bosses my friends.

Anyway - I'm glad you're moving towards new things! Congrats on the interview and good luck!!

Brunette & Blessed said...

good luck! dont worry God is in control no matter what happens

Sarah said...

This is such a great post Meg! I can definitely relate to that feeling of strong dislike for your job. I am currently in that very situation. I really used to enjoy my job, but now that I'm working full time at it, it's a whole other story. This was so encouraging for me. Just to know that God answers prayers. I really need to make more of an effort to spend time in prayer every day. Thank you for sharing this! :)